Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
