I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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