I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm too high and old for this...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
