whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
