So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
