What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
