Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
