I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
