Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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