I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
