Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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