Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
