I am puke
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
