chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was not drunk enough for that final.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
