He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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