yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
