i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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