he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I will be naked everywhere
You dont lie about slip and slides
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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