that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Quick, to the slutcave!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
