I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
