I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
