i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
