And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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