a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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