Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
