He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
