if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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