He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
