i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
