i don't like sucking hair
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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