Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
