there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
