it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
