I'm jealous of your bromance
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
