I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
don't judge my taste in strippers
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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