Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
