why didn't you poke me back
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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