I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
