I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
