It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
