My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize