If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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