I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the day after is always just damage control
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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