So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The best revenge is premature balding
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize