I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
