I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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