I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
whose ass print is on the piano?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
