im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
my poor anus
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
