I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
