It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
