arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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