Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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