I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
