Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I got inside last night via doggy door
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
