I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
