This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
