..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
