I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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