Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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