I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
