So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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