Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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