Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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